Saturday, July 31, 2010

I am a barterer. Whether or not this is a real word is immaterial. I am bartering. I started with a paper clip and though I wish that I could say that this was an original idea, it wasn't. I got it from Reader's Digest. A few years back they did an article on a man who bartered his way from a paperclip all the way to a new house!

The truth is I didn't even start out with a paper clip. I started with the promise of a paper clip. My friend Joyce Carter was just as excited by this idea of barterdom as I was and said that she would trade me a flashlight for the paper clip. The following Sunday, she showed up with the coolest flashlight I've ever seen! I had forgotten my paper clip at home (ADD moment) but she traded me anyway.

Now, I have the opportunity to trade my flashlight for a toaster and a free dinner. here's my dilemma: Can I eat the free dinner and still trade the toaster? Or do I need to keep the trades "intact"? I'm still so new at this...

Regardless, I still owe Joyce a paperclip...

If anyone would like to trade me something for a toaster (sans the dinner:)) Just let me know!


Friday, July 30, 2010

I am fascinated by the untold stories in the Bible. By "Untold" I mean not typically taught in most Sunday schools.

For example, there's the story of Ehud in the book of Judges.
Let me set the stage for you:

There's this king, a really fat king. He's the Jabba the Hut type of king with folds and folds of fat. And he is an evil king. (That's important for you to know because he dies in the end.).

Eglad, king of Moab was his name. He made the children of Israel pay tribute to him. The Israelites prayed for help in the situation. God heard their prayers and when it was payment time, sent Ehud (the hero of our story), along with some other soldiers to give the tribute to the king. But before Ehud left Israel, he made himself a dagger and attached it to his right thigh. Ehud was left handed. Most people I guess even back then were right handed. Otherwise, why would the Bible mention that fact?

Anyway, they all deliver the tribute. I am sure that the guards checked for weapons in the typical places (left thighs were checked for sure!) and then Ehud tells the king that he has a secret message for him. So the king sends everyone else out of the room and locks the door. Ehud then proceeds to stab him with his dagger. The king is soooo fat that the dagger gets lost in the folds of his skin. Ehud then jumps out a nearby window and runs away.

Now comes the really interesting part of the story. the king's guards are waiting outside the throne room. They wait a few minutes and then try the door. When they see it's locked they think the king is going to the bathroom and wants some privacy. So they wait a few more minutes. Finally they knock - no answer. They knock again. Still no answer. Finally, they break down the door and find the king dead on the throne. (No "sitting on the throne" jokes, okay?) by the time they realized what happened, Ehud is already back home.

So I'm not really sure what the biblical significance of this story is, but I know that when I start telling the story, all of a sudden all of the boys in the room get interested in the Bible...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Attention Deficit, puppies, and the ten commandments

If I had the chance to live without Attention Deficit Disorder, I don't think I would take it. No really, I mean it.

I have finally come to think of my ADD as a gift.

Let me explain.
It's like getting a new puppy. the pros outweigh the cons for me... when you pet the pup's fluffy little ears and he falls asleep on your lap after exhausting himself by chasing his tail, he is so darn cute that you forget all about how he chewed up toys and the "accidents" on the kitchen floor. Know what I mean?

I assume my ADD "gift" is why I forget things so easily and why I lose things all of the time. (Where are my keys? No, I mean really right now, Where are they?!) but what I've learned is that along with the negatives comes the ability to think outside the box*, (sometimes waaayyyy outside of the box),the compassion to forgive others mistakes (along with your own, of course) and a knack for enjoying the little things around me that the general population may not even notice.

I once was sitting in a John Maxwell seminar (at least I think it was John Maxwell) and I got a bit distracted. There was a huge copy of the ten commandments on the wall of the church near where we were sitting. As I sat reading them, I suddenly realized that I had never memorized them in order. If you had pushed me, I probably could have come up with all ten out of order, but if there is one thing I have learned, it's that order helps you remember things.

Ten commandments.... ten fingers.... and I just happened to have all ten with me at the church. So by the time John (or whoever it was) was done speaking, I had a foolproof way to remember them forever. Each finger size and position is very important in how I remember all ten in order. (are you curious yet?)

My only problem now is that I can't really teach this to children because of where the third commandment ends up....


* Remind me to tell you about the bill board I saw pertaining to "thinking outside of the box."


Friday, July 23, 2010

There is only room for so much information in this little brain of mine. I know this is true, despite what the scientists say, because recently I have sensed many of my thoughts leaking away, getting lost in the chasm between the said "new thought" and the tongue which is supposed to utter it.
Hence, this page. I think if I can capture enough of "the thought" on the notepad on my cellphone, (For everyone knows that your most incredible thoughts never come when you are sitting at the computer ready to write) I can then transfer the wisdom (Yes, wisdom! or at least thoughts that would make me a lot of money!) to this page.

Are you ready for the adventure to begin? Okay, just one more thought.

ummmmm never mind. It's gone.